But Mira’s problems are like nothing compared to what’s wrong with Dad. I got so full of myself that I figured I could do anything – solve any problem – fix any person. How messed up is that? And I thought calling myself Little Miss Hand Grenade was a joke. I had gone and exploded in the middle of my own family and completely blown apart my father’s fragile grip on his problems. The image of Dad flinching away from Mum flashed into my mind and stayed there – playing over and over.I could feel myself spiraling down and down into a deep black hole. Further and further I sank into the depths. All those fake versions of me fell away – all those masks that I hide behind dissolved away into nothing. Soon there was nothing left but the real Bec – the small, weak, terrified, broken Bec wailing and cowering in a dark corner of my skull.My brain starting picturing what would happen to our family now that Dad couldn’t cope with being touched any more. It was terrifying. I couldn’t face it. Even. Jenny is my special friend. She had her hair bobbed after I did mine.Chloe and Hannah are good fun too.My (almost) boyfriend is Greg. I used to find his best friend James muchmore attractive but I couldn't win him from Chloe and now I'm glad Ididn't. Greg is much more interesting to talk to and I really enjoy ourdates. Before him, I had a one-night-stand with John, who's no longer inour group but we're still friends with no regrets. Jenny's boyfriend isMartin while Bob, Joe and James are vying for Hannah, who's just revellingin the competition. James got me into tennis while Jenny is my badmintonpartner, usually against Hannah and Chloe. We've all got roller-blades andgo down town to Ivy Square on Saturdays, if it's sunny. I just love being20 and a student.Mum and Gerard (I wish he'd let me call him Dad) are really nice with meand won't take any rent for my room so I do lots of chores for them. Ishould be more lazy at my age but I still feel full of energy in contrastto Roger. Mum has.
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